I Heard Your Heart Beating
by For the North
Summary: For the first time in his life, Captain America doesn't know what he's fighting for. Bucky is back and on the mend, Sam is as loyal as ever, Natasha has redeemed herself, but the Avengers are falling apart. Steve's world is rocked when he meets Rose MacLeod and after she comes into his life - nothing will ever be the same.
1. Chapter 1

I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map. And knew that somehow I could find my way back. Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too. So I stayed in the darkness with you. - Florence and the Machine

_**DISCLAIMER: I own neither the quote above from Florence and the Machine, nor anything Marvel/Avenger. **_

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Chapter One: Steve's POV

I match my breathing with the pace of my feet.

Step, Inhale. Step, Exhale. Step, Inhale. Step, Exhale.

My mind goes blank as my feet strike the pavement. I look forward to this feeling every morning. I love to run. I get restless when I'm still for too long, but it's also for this feeling of absolute nothing - peace. When I'm running, there's no Avengers, no Hydra - nothing.

The sun should be fully up and blinding me right about now, but its blocked out by massive clouds. It's supposed to storm today, and it's coming soon. I can smell it.

I make another lap around the Washington Monument.

Wow. That one was even faster than my usual time.

Maybe I'm picking up the pace because I'm alone. It's so quiet right now - the only sounds coming from my breathing and the rumbling of distant thunder.

Some days I can't bear to be by myself on these runs. I've gotten used to running with Sam, and then when Buck returned - it became the three of us sprinting every morning. Buck and I can easily whip Sam's ass, but his company is nice all the same.

But then there are other days, like today, when Sam has to be at work early and Buck decides to sleep in (or gets in one of his moods) - then I run alone. And today, the alone time is just what I need.

Buck had another nightmare last night. I woke to his screaming, and when I ran from my bedroom to the living room, I found him thrashing like crazy on the couch. As more of his memory returns, the nightmares get worse. He told me he dreams about the experiments they did on him, the torture techniques they tried when he wouldn't break, and all the people he killed while under their control.

It guts me to see him like that. Sam tells me that every nightmare and flashback is actually helping him to fight his way back to the man he was, but it's almost impossible to bear the fact that there's nothing I can do to help him.

Bucky returned nearly a year after we took down Project Insight.

I found him leaning against the door of my apartment one night when I came home from dinner with Sam. When I saw him the emotion I felt even more than shock was joy. Buck was there, standing in front of me - he looked worn and weary and haunted, but my best friend was back.

He's been staying with me since then.

It isn't the same of course, but it was amazing just how fast everything fell back into place with us. Our friendship is almost better now, stronger. Buck is the one person I really, truly understand. We're the same - two guys trying to live in a place, a time, where we don't belong; both of us shaped and molded by people whose intentions never coincided with what they promised.

We're getting better.

I think I'll run by the deli across the street from here. They make a good cup of coffee, and it'll cheer Buck up.

I'm hoping he's still sleeping. He didn't get much more after I shook the hell out of him to wake him up.

I hit my final lap mark and veer to the left around the monument toward the deli. I feel a single drop of rain hit the back of my neck, and a few heartbeats later - the skies open and I am completely drenched.

Through the deafening roar of the storm I hear an exclamation I cant make out, and several thuds hitting the concrete. I turn around and across the street, I see a girl, on her knees trying to gather what looks like textbooks.

I run across the street unhindered, and gather her books in my arms. They're all hardbacks so she'll probably be able to salvage them.

"I'm so sorry!" She shouts,

I cant make out her face too clearly because of the rain, but it's clear she's embarassed.

I smile at her.

"Don't worry about it," I yell back. "That big building behind you is a church. Let's get there and dry off a bit, okay?"

She nods and takes my outstretched hand in hers. I don't notice at first, but as she starts to move I see that she's limping badly. With my free arm, I gather her to my side and lift her off her feet. She wraps her arms around me tight. I'm guessing she's afraid I'll drop her. I sprint toward the church and it's only a few seconds before I have the pair of us inside and her sitting on the edge of a pew.

I look at her leg and find a gash just above the knee. It may not be deep enough to need stitches, but it's bleeding badly and I imagine it stings something fierce.

"God, I'm such a klutz," she breathes like a laugh. "I was reading while I was walking and then the rain came down, and I tripped over something. Thank you so much for helping me."

I look at her then, and that one look in the dim candlelight changes everything. She's beautiful - so much so it takes my breath away and I can barely form a coherent thought.

Her hair is wet and darkened, but I'm guessing it's probably a light blonde - almost white. As I look at her, little spirals are forming rapidly around her face and I imagine her hair will be a mass of curls when it's dry. Her eyes are big and round, and the brown of them is a shade I've never seen before. I believe you can tell a lot about a person from their eyes, and hers are so open I feel like I can see right into her soul - and damn, that's beautiful too.

Her nose is long and regal looking, her cheekbones are high and rounded, and her lips - good lord - they're full and red where she's biting on them. I've never seen anything like her. Not ever. And I can't look away. She's the kind of beautiful that easily brings dopes like me to their knees.

In my trance, I unconsciously squeeze her knee and she lets out a little whimper of pain.

I instantly let go and have the overwhelming urge to kick myself. _Keep it together, Rogers!_

_"_Sorry," I say and she shakes her head with a kind smile - perfect white teeth, too. "Your knee is swollen. I'm guessing when you went down, you probably twisted it. It'll be pretty sore for a while depending on how bad it is."

I tear the sleeve off the jacket I'm wearing and she gasps. For some reason, that sound has me blushing like a damn schoolgirl.

"I'm going to wrap this around your knee as a brace," I explain. "It should help with the pain and keep the swelling down. Once this rain lets up a little, I'll take you to the hospital to look at that cut. I don't think it needs stitches, but it definitely needs to be cleaned to keep it from getting infected."

She starts to pull away a bit.

"I'm okay, really. I'm sure it's no big deal. I appreciate all of your help though, I can't think of too many guys who would've gone out of their way like that for a stranger."

_Who wouldn't go out of their way for her? Hell, I'd go across the Atlantic for her. _

"Well then, there are too many guys without the brains or proper manners to help out a beautiful-um ... I mean ... a lady who requires assistance." I stutter like an idiot.

She blushes crimson and wrings her hands together.

I really have to refrain from punching myself in the face. _What is WRONG with you?!_

"I understand your aversion to hospitals," I say and she looks up at me, her full lower lip between her teeth. "I'm not a fan myself, but it really does need to be cleaned. I'd do it myself, but I don't have any of the supplies on me. Forgive me if I'm being too forward ma'am, but I don't live far from here, and I can take care of it there if you'll let me."

She clears her throat and nods after a few reluctant moments.

"I'm Rose," she says suddenly, extending her hand. "Rose MacLeod."

I shake her hand, surprised by the firmness of her grip and softness of her skin.

"It's a pleasure Ms. MacLeod." I reply, "I'm Steve Rogers."

An odd look crosses her face and I can't stop myself from asking.

"What?"

"Sorry I mean - I know who you are," she stutters. "I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

I get an unexplainable rush from her recognizing me, but I don't understand that second half at all.

"Make me uncomfortable?" I ask and she nods shyly. "Why would that make me uncomfortable?"

She raises a dark, arched eyebrow with a look that tells me I'm missing the point.

"Well, I imagine you get tired of people harassing you all the time," she explains with a shrug. "I'm really trying to keep calm, but it's taking everything I have not to go all fangirl on you, Captain."

_Huh?_

"It's just Steve," I smile and she blushes **again** as I tie the fabric around her knee nice and snug. "To be honest, I really don't get approached all that often, and when I do the people are usually really great to talk to. And I don't know what _fangirling _means, but if you need to I'm sure it'll be alright."

She laughs at that, and I know I've completely lost it when I think it's the prettiest sound I've ever heard.

Suddenly a loud crash of thunder sounds, and it reverberates off the walls of the church. She jumps a bit, and I immediately reach for her hand to squeeze in reassurance. I want to kick myself for being too inappropriate, until she squeezes back with a grateful expression marking her lovely face.

The rain starts coming down, harder than before, and the sky turns even darker through the plate-glass windows.

"I don't think we're getting out of here any time soon," she observes and I nod.

I've stopped the bleeding from her leg, but it makes me nervous to have it sit, contaminated with the bacteria from the rain water.

I spot the cask of holy water up near the alter - it'll do.

I gently move her so that her leg is elevated on the pew before I jog to retrieve it. As I stand over her with the pan in hand, the only expression on her face is that of humor.

"Are you going to baptize me?"

I laugh so hard I nearly drop the bowl.

"Just your knee," I tell her. "This may sting a bit, but I'll be as quick as I can. I promise."

She only nods, her face calm.

_She's __brave. _

I set the bowl beside her before reaching for the tear in her jeans. The hole in the knee is quite large, but I can't see the entire cut. I look to her for permission, and she nods with a sweet smile.

I rip the material inch by inch, purposely ignoring the catch in both of our breathing until most of her thigh is bared to me.

The cut isn't very deep at all, but it's large - spanning almost the entire way around her leg. I tear off another piece of cloth from my jacket, dip it in the holy water, and squeeze the excess over the cut. She jerks just a bit, but remains still and quiet.

"I'm sorry," I say quietly, running the freshly soaked cloth across the score in her skin.

"I'm not as fragile as I look, Steve." She replies and pats my shoulder.

The small touch from her sends a violent shiver down my spine.

"I believe that ... So, what's with all the books?" I motion with my free hand toward the pile on the floor.

"I'm a grad student at Georgetown, and a bit of nerd if I'm being honest." I smile at that, and she continues. "I'm studying law, but history is really my passion. Before the storm hit, I went to the library to pick these up for the weekend."

I look at the stack of books on the floor; _**An Exploration of the American Revolution's Famous Battles**, **Vikings : Their Role in the Settlement of European Nations**, _and **_Pearl Harbor - the Beginning of World War II for America._**

"Interesting selection," I observe. "So you're just reading these for fun? I can't imagine anyone wanting to spend their weekend brushing up on this old stuff unless they had to."

I look at her then, and her eyes tighten just slightly in the corners - an angry expression.

"I'm sorry," I amend before she can reply. "I didn't mean to offend you. I just very rarely meet anyone with a genuine interest in history."

The anger disappears and is replaced with her sweet expression I've grown overly fond of.

"That's true," she agrees. "It's really sad if you think about it. How are we supposed to move forward if we don't learn from the past? ... I guess I have my father to thank for my interest. When I was growing up, he'd tell me stories about my family history. He taught me that everyone should know where they come from, and that will help them to find who they are. That got me interested in my personal heritage, and then that grew into a passion for history in general."

_Marry me. _

I clear my throat.

"Family history, huh?" I ask and her eyes widen. "MacLeod. That's Scottish, right?"

She smiles a full, perfect smile and it almost knocks the winds out of me.

"You bet. I was afraid I was going to have to rethink my feelings toward you if you said Irish. _Everyone _guesses Irish." She says 'Irish' like it leaves a bad taste in her mouth.

_Feelings toward me?! What are her feelings toward me?!_

"I've known a few Scots in my day," I reply and she raises a brow. "And they taught me to know better than to mix up the two - I wouldn't dare."

She laughs.

"I don't know ... when I was growing up I didn't have much interest in history, but I was damn passionate about my country. The men in my family were all soldiers, and it was all I ever wanted. They taught me about loyalty and bravery and everything they acquired from their time in the service. It's funny how some lessons stick with you for a lifetime, isn't it? Your father sounds like really a wise man."

She looks down at her lap and takes a deep breath.

"Yeah, he was." She says quietly.

Her lips turn down at the corners and a glossy sheen forms in her eyes. I drop the cloth. _God damn you to hell, Rogers. _That expression of sadness is like an iron fist straight to the gut. I want nothing more than to hold her tight to my chest and wipe the tears from her eyes.

Before I can stop myself, I reach my hand out to her, and stroke her cheek with the back of my knuckles.

"I am _so _sorry, Rose."

She looks up at me, startled. I start to pull my hand away, but she catches it in hers and holds it against the soft, warm skin of her cheek.

"It's okay," she replies. "It's been over five years ... I guess some wounds just don't go away or not easily at least ... We were really close. My mother died giving birth to me, so it was always just me and Da. Growing up we had a big farm in West Virginia. I loved it there and I can't imagine having a better childhood than the one I did. We didn't have a lot of money, but Da made sure I never wanted for anything. We were too far away from any town I couldn't attend regular school, so Da hired several tutors for me - really good ones. I learned just as much, if not more than the rest of the kids my age.

Then when it came time for college, Da told me he wouldn't settle for anything less than the best. Georgetown offered the most scholarships, so there I went. I'm the first person to ever attend college in my family, and going to a really good school like that ... Da was really proud. I hated to leave him all on his own, but he told me he would drag me there kicking and screaming if that's what it came to. We stayed in close contact. I traveled home as often as I could and he'd visit me as often as he could. Everything was great, and then a few weeks after Christmas ... I got a call from one of the boys Da hired to help with the cattle. It's not clear what happened exactly, but they - they found his body in the barn.

I guess he was trying to saddle one of the horses when he had a massive stroke. It killed him ... quickly ... but I'll never forgive myself. If I had been there I could have done something. And then maybe ... maybe he'd still be-"

She doubles over as violent sobs wrack through her body, and she's shaking so hard, I'm afraid she'll shake herself apart. I wrap my arms around her as tight as I can without hurting her, and gently rub her back. Seeing her in pain is honestly going to kill me; I can't take it. Her face is right in the crook of my neck, and as I feel the tears and gasping breaths against my skin, I realize this girl - this stranger - has changed my life.

I've known her for less than an hour, and the idea of us parting ways today and never seeing her again, makes me question what life would be like without her.

I can't even try to pretend that I'm only helping her out of a gentleman's obligation - I can't.

As she wraps her arms around my back, some of her face is exposed to me. I lean in close and speak softly in her ear.

"There was _nothing_ you could have done, Rose. Even if you were there, it still would have happened. Even if he'd gotten medical attention, a stroke like that still would have taken him. It wasn't your fault, and carrying this guilt inside you is going to do nothing more than take over the rest of your life. Every happy moment you have will be haunted by it, as I'm sure you know already. You'll never forget the loss, and there will always be a part of you that hurts like hell every time you think of him, but you can live with that. And I know it is the hardest thing in the world ... but you have to let him go. I didn't know your father, and I can't speak on his behalf, but from what you've told me I'd bet you were his world. He wouldn't want you to torture yourself like this."

"I _miss_ him." She says so quietly, I barely catch it.

"You always will," I reply. "I can promise you that, but he's still with you."

She looks up at me with wide, wet eyes.

"Who did you lose, Steve?"

_How the hell do I answer that?_

"Everyone and everything in one way or another." She lays her hand on my shoulder and I lean into it. "My parents died before the procedure with the serum. They never got to see me the way I am now. Losing them was tough, but when they died I just didn't feel connected to it. At that time I was so focused on getting into the war - it was the only thing I thought about ... Then I thought my best friend was killed in a mission he followed me into, and losing Buck was the worst thing that's ever happened to me.

And then the crash happened, and when I woke up nothing was the same. Everyone I knew was dead, and the world I lived in was gone. Suddenly I was surrounded by strangers who _said _they were on my side and that they were helping me, but I couldn't trust a single one of them. I still can't. Back in my time if you wore a uniform you were a good guy, and that's just not true anymore.

I was alone for such a long a time, and sometimes, I still feel that way ... It doesn't matter what I'm doing or who I'm working for - I'm not supposed to be here. I don't belong here in this time ... There's a damn good reason you grow old and die. Life is a cycle that should never be disturbed. You're born, you do your best at whatever you do during your lifetime, you pass on your knowledge and legacy if you have one, and then you move on.

I won't say that I wish I was dead, because I don't. But sometimes, I really think everything would be better off if I was."

She holds my chin between her fingers, forcing me to meet her gaze.

"That is _not _true." She says angrily, "Do you have any idea how much good you've done? Steve, you've saved the _freaking_ world! Millions of people still have their lives because of you! You are the figure everyone looks to when there's trouble, because you are everything that is right with the world. You're so brave and unfailingly kind. You don't even know me and you've gone out of your way to help me _and _comfort me. Steve you're like ... the one _real_ superhero!"

I lean forward and touch my lips to hers, hesitantly. Something about her pulls me to her in the same way gravity pulls us to the Earth. I've never felt like this in my life; not even with Peggy - the first girl I ever loved.

Rose responds with force, gripping the hair on the back of my head, and urging me closer.

Keeping her injured leg in mind, I pull her so there is no space between our bodies. _GOOD, LORD! _She feels so good pressed against me. I have one hand on the small of her back, and with the other - I comb my fingers through the silky curls of her hair. She moans, just a bit, but the vibration that comes along with the sound resonates right in my bones.

I run my tongue across the soft, plushness of her lower lip. She opens her mouth in reaction, and that's all I need. As soon as our tongues meet, I feel an explosion rock through me. We hold each other impossibly tighter, and I can't withhold a groan when she starts to roam my body with her hands. She starts with my arms, squeezing and tracing the lines of my biceps. She moves again - her fingertips gently running down the length of my abdomen. I gasp into her mouth, and she takes the lead with her tongue.

I don't have control of my body anymore. It's all about sensation now; I move in response to her touches just as she does for me. I have one hand on the back of her neck, keeping her tight to me, and with the other - I explore. Her body is a beautiful masterpiece, so perfect God himself must have spent days chiseling her. The lines of her are soft and pliable and her curves are the kind women would kill to have and men would kill to touch.

It doesn't register at first, but when it does, it hits me like a freight train. What I'm feeling under my hands is flesh, not fabric.

I've pushed up her sweater and the soft skin of her stomach, right above the waistband of jeans, is scalding my hands. Rose is moaning softly, still pulling on my hair, and trembling all over - her skin is covered in goose bumps.

_WHAT. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU?!_

It's excruciating, but I pull my hands away from her body, and remove my mouth from hers. I'm panting like I've just ran a damn marathon, and a vivid red flows up Rose's neck to settle in her cheeks.

"I'm sorry," I gasp out. "I shouldn't have done that."

The most awful expression of hurt and rejection flashes on her face, and then she goes into motion. She pulls down her sweater and readjusts her ruined jeans, and then she tries to calm the mass of fluffy curls made frizzy by my hands. She doesn't meet my eyes once.

"It's okay," she wipes at her face. "I-um ... The rain has let up a little, I'm going to try to get a cab. Thanks again for all of your help Mr. Rogers, I really appreciate it."

She bends over, trying to keep the weight off of her hurt leg as she gathers her books.

_What? She can't leave!_

"Rose, stop." I grab her shoulder and she stills, but doesn't look at me. "I'm sorry for being so forward. I never meant to take advantage of you like that, I don't know what came over me. Please don't leave."

She looks at me and all of her features are marked with anger.

"I'm not mad about you being too forward, Steve! I'm mad because you just - you pushed me away! You do realize _you're_ the one who kissed _me_, right? And you know what? I thought that we - I thought that there was something, you know, between us. I mean why the hell would you kiss me like that if you didn't feel it too? Oh well. Seriously it's fine. I just want to get the fuck out of this church -"

"ROSE!" I shout. "I only apologized because I thought I went too far. We've just met and we hardly know each other, but there's this pull ... I can't think straight around you. Believe me - there's nothing I want more than I want you right now, but it's not appropriate."

Her lips turn up in the corners, a tiny smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, I know." I continue, "It's old fashioned and so am I, but you're a lady Rose. You're a beautiful, proper lady and I won't treat you as anything less than that."

She reaches for my hand and squeezes it tight.

"So ... it's not just me?" She asks carefully.

"God no!" I shake my head. "You honestly have no idea."

"Actually, I think I do."

_I don't think it's possible for her to want me the way I want her, but thank God she wants me at all!_

"Doubt it," I counter and she raises a brow at me. I lean forward to kiss it with a laugh. "But you need to understand Rose, it isn't just the-um ..."

"Lust?" She offers.

I nod.

"It's more than that."

She looks around and lets out a quiet, incredulous laugh.

"This is crazy," she breathes. "It isn't normal to feel like this about someone you've just met ... Don't get me wrong, I don't have much experience in this sort of thing, but I know enough."

"Honey," I say and she blushes at the term. "I really think it's best not question it."

"What are we going to do?"

"Hell if I know ... But I think a pretty good start is for us to get out of here, and back to my apartment where I can doctor you up."

"And then?" She smirks,

"Then," I smile widely at her and she giggles. "I'm going to try to explain to Bucky how I managed to bring home an angel, and once I do that - I'm going to make you dinner."

She looks shocked.

"Okay, I've got two questions. One - by Bucky do you mean James Buchanan Barnes? The best friend you lost?"

Now it's _my_ turn to look shocked.

"You know Bucky?"

"No," she shakes her head. "I know _you_. And everything there is to read or see about you, usually has some mention of him."

_Oh, I see. What the hell is there to read and see about me? Never mind ... "Scrawny punk from Brooklyn turned 'Avenger Superhero' after being injected with a magical serum" ... Good lord, these people really don't know anything. _

"I see," I reply. "Well after he gets over the shock of seeing me with a beautiful woman for the first time in almost a century, I'm sure you and Buck will get along just fine. Hell, he'll probably try to steal you away from me if I'm being honest."

"Not possible."

Her response is so immediate and direct, I feel my chest swell up. _She's mine. _

"You had another question?"

"Oh, yeah! Question two - you cook?"

"I don't cook well, but it's the thought that counts right?" I laugh and so does she.

"Well Captain, you're in luck. I just happen to be a very good cook, so I can manage dinner, or at least coach you through it ... And now that we've got that taken care of, how exactly are we going to get out of here and back to your apartment?"

Through the window on the far side of the church, I can see it's still raining but not nearly as hard as before. I can carry her at a jog and be home in five minutes; we'll both be wet, but we're already soaked now so what's a little more?

"Do you trust me?"

She nods.

I peel off my hoodie and give it to her to put on. One of the sleeves is missing - wrapped around her injured leg, but the hood will keep the rain out of her face. I reach for her canvas tote bag and carefully place her books inside, closing the zipper to protect them. I sling the bag over my shoulder and look at her.

We make quite the pair. She's disheveled, injured, and undeniably beautiful and I'm half naked, sopping wet, and flushed from meeting the girl of my dreams.

"What are you going to do?" She asks, confused and slightly wary.

Instead of answering, I pick her up - bridal style. _Bridal style. Huh, that has a nice ring to it. _

She wraps her arms around my neck and looks at me like I'm insane.

"Steve, you _cannot _carry me like this all the way back to your apartment. Seriously, put me down and I'll walk."

She starts to wriggle a bit in my arms, so I squeeze her tighter to me as I make my way to the door.

"I'm not putting you down because you couldn't walk if you tried, and _if_ you tried you'd only end up hurting your leg even more. Not to mention you limping your way back to my apartment would take quadruple the time it'll take me to run us there. You're light as a feather Rose, and to be honest - I like having you in my arms. Now hold on tight and I'll have us home in no time."

She smiles sweetly and kisses my cheek as I pull the hood further down to cover more of her face.

I kick the door open and take off at a sprint. As I run, Rose keeps a tight grip around my neck. For the first few minutes her body is tense in my arms, but as we move along the empty streets she relaxes.

I check my watch as I climb the stairs to my building - 5 minutes 52 seconds - not too bad. Buck and I live on the fourth floor, so only a few more flights of stairs to go.

"Could you have done this before the serum?" Rose asks suddenly. "Carried a girl as you ran and climbed up stairs?"

That makes me laugh.

"Definitely not," I reply. "I couldn't even run a block without getting winded, and my lunchbox was a burden back in those days."

She smiles and settles her head against my shoulder.

In front of my door, I kick it twice - signaling Bucky to let me in.

Buck opens the door, naked except for some running shorts - with a sandwich in the hand of his metal arm. He looks from Rose to me and back again before choking down a mouthful.

"What the hell?"

I almost want to laugh at his response. _Yeah buddy, I have no idea either. _

Rose extends her hand and Buck instantly reaches to take it in his own - ingrained manners coming through the shock.

"Bucky, right?" She asks and Buck nods slowly. "It's so nice to meet you, Bucky. I'm Rose."

"The pleasure is mine ma'am." He replies and moves aside so I can carry her through the door. "Are you ... hurt, Rose?"

I place Rose gently on the couch and elevate her knee before explaining.

"We both got caught in the rain. She tripped over something and sprained her knee, there's a cut too but it's not as bad."

I watch and try not to drool as Rose peels off the drenched hoodie and her sweater - leaving her in only a thin, white tank top. I hear a sudden intake of breath and I turn to see Bucky staring, as captivated as I am.

Rose looks up at our reactions and quickly turns a vibrant shade of red.

"Sorry! I-uh they're really wet and I'm kind of cold."

Bucky coughs and looks away quickly, and I immediately grab the blanket from the back of the couch, and wrap it around her shoulders.

I run the back of my hand down the length of her face and her teeth begin to chatter.

"You're frozen straight to the bone, aren't you?" I ask and she smiles and squeezes my shoulder. "You need to warm up - do you think you could stand for a shower or should I run you a hot bath?"

"Shower, please. I'm sure I can stand long enough to defrost and if I sit down in a bath, I don't think I'll be able to get out again."

I can't stop myself from kissing her nose before I pick her up and turn in the direction of the bathroom.

"I'll get you some of my clothes to wear," I tell her. "Buck, will you grab her a towel?"

Buck jerks and nods his head rapidly, almost sprinting to the linen closet.

I set her on the edge of the bathroom sink while I grab some clothes for her.

_Alright, my sweats will probably drown her, but they'll keep her warm at least ... a plain white long-sleeve shirt ... and a pair of wool socks. Damn, I hope she doesn't get sick. She could get the flu or worse, pneumonia! _

On my way back to the bathroom, Bucky intercepts me. He places two large, fluffy towels on top of the pile in my arms and raises his eyebrows at me.

"Give me a minute." I say,

Rose is still sitting on the edge of the sink, struggling to untie my makeshift knee brace. I undo the knots with two pulls and she looks up at me and smiles.

"The clothes won't fit, of course." I tell her. "But they'll do for now. I can't have my girl getting sick on me."

She grabs the chest of my shirt and pulls me in for a quick, chaste kiss.

"Thank you, Steve."

"Of course. Make sure you let some hot water run into that cut - it'll sting, but it will cleanse the wound. If you have a problem, just yell for me. I'm going to get changed and make something warm to drink. Do you have a preference?"

"Cider, if you have it." She replies, "That's my favorite."

"Then cider it is."

I help her off the sink and carefully onto her feet. As I walk out, I close the door behind me. I have to try **very **hard not to think about her getting naked just a few feet away from me. The shower starts and I'm freed of my inappropriate thoughts when Buck comes to stand in front me across the counter.

"Care to explain?" He asks as he picks up the remnants of his sandwich and wolfs it down in two bites.

"I'd love to if I had any idea about what's going on." I reply as I carelessly throw on a set of dry clothes. "I helped her out of the rain and we talked for a while and then we kissed and now ... Buck, I'm screwed."

The smug bastard throws his head back and laughs like a hyena. I snag a washcloth from the sink and throw it at his face - he catches it, of course.

"Quit your cackling and give me some advice!"

"Christ, Steve," he gasps out. "You _would _be the one to fall head over heels in less than a day's time."

"Yeah Buck, you're a real comic genius. I need your help - you know more about this stuff than I do."

"This stuff meaning girls?" He smirks at me and I nod. "Yeah I guess I have a bit more experience in that department, but I've been out of the game for just as long as you have Steve. I honestly couldn't tell you a thing about the kind of girls the world is full of now."

"I was never in the game in the first place!" I throw my hands up, and Buck snorts out another laugh. "Back in the day, you had a new date every weekend ... and Rose is - different from the rest of the girls I've met since I woke up. She reminds me of the girls from our time. She's sweet and smart and funny and-"

"You're a lovesick puppy, yeah I get it." He interrupts, "I don't know what to say, pal ... You're obviously crazy about her and she seems to feel the same way about you. I don't see the problem."

"The _problem _is that I've known her for all of ..." I look at my watch. "Six and a half hours and I want to marry her. I can barely keep my hands off her and I can't even think about her leaving, because it makes me feel like I'm drowning. Buck, I can't think straight. Something is wrong here - feeling like this about a stranger isn't normal."

"I wouldn't say that's true. Whether you believe in it or not, love at first sight happens all the time. It happened to my parents - a week after they met, my dad proposed to my mom ... and even if you didn't recognize it then, I think you started falling for Peggy the day you met her. The only advice I have for you is to stop thinking about it. Quit asking yourself if it's right or normal or what the hell ever. Just go with it."

He's right. I know he's right, but it's easier said than done.

"I feel guilty," I say and Buck's narrows his eyes at me.

"What for?"

"About Peggy ... I loved her and I really thought I'd never love _anyone_ the way I loved her, but the way I feel about Rose makes that look like a joke ... And I feel guilty about wanting Rose. I'm ninety-five years old, and she's basically a baby. She has a whole lifetime left in front of her and a part of me thinks she'd be happier to have someone that actually has things in common with her. Not to mention that because of the life I live, everyone I care about is put in danger - all the time. I don't have to worry about you or Sam because you can take care of yourselves, but Rose can't. She's innocent and the minute I involve her in my life, I put a target on her back. How can I start a relationship with her when I know that?"

Buck shakes his head.

"This is some heavy shit, Steve," he says. "You've go to let go of the stuff with Peggy. You loved her - I know that, she knew that. But's that time is long past pal, and you feeling guilty about it is pointless. Move on ... I get where you're coming from with your worries about Rose. Sure there's a hell of an age difference, but are you gonna be alone for the rest of your life because you're technically a senior citizen? I'll answer that for you - no. I don't think you could stay away from her if you tried anyway. And I don't see the point in you thinking she'd be happier with someone else. You don't get to make that choice for her Steve. If she wants you, then she wants all that comes with you. Will she be in more danger as Captain America's girl? Yes, but you can protect her ... Quit looking for something to end this before you even get started."

"What would I do without you, Buck?" I wonder, not realizing I've said it aloud.

"Worry yourself to death probably." He replies, "Now, I need to ask you question and you better not hit me for it. It's for your own good."

"What?" I say, wary.

"Are you sure you can trust this girl?"

"Absolutely," I reply without a doubt. "Why?"

"This is the part where you don't hit me," he holds his hands up. "S.H.I.E.L.D. has planted people in your life before, and now that you've taken them down along with Hydra, I wouldn't be surprised if they try to do it again. They're too smart to plant someone obvious. You would see them coming from a mile away, but no one would suspect Rose. So far all you've seen is a beautiful, unassuming, sweet girl - but for all you know - she could have been inserted in your life as a damsel in distress."

Everything he says makes perfect sense. S.H.I.E.L.D./Hydra know my weaknesses. They know I could never bypass someone who needs my help.

"I hear you," I reply. "It could be a possibility, but I trust her Buck. I trust her completely."

I hear the shower stop, so I grab three mugs and fill them with hot cider.

"You have good instincts pal, and you're probably right - but _I'm_ still trying to get back the part of me that was able to trust people. Let me do some digging, just a basic background check and sweep. I can have all of the info I need by three. If I don't see any red flags, I promise I'll drop it."

I don't want to invade Rose's privacy, but I have to do whatever I can to put Bucky's mind at ease.

I nod as the bathroom door opens.

I really didn't think she could get any more beautiful, but I was wrong. Her skin is flushed a gorgeous, freshly-scrubbed pink and the color makes her look even more youthful and lively. She has towel dried her hair and the white-blonde curls look so soft, I have to restrain myself from reaching for them. My clothes almost swallow her whole, but she looks completely comfortable, and I can't deny the testosterone rush I get from seeing _my girl _in _my clothes. _

"Thanks for the shower," she says, her voice breathy and soft. "I feel so much better."

"You look beautiful." I reply, and she snorts - causing Bucky to laugh with her. "How's your leg?"

"Not too bad." She limps over to me, and settles herself against my side. I wrap my arm around her as she takes the mug from my hand and takes a big drink. "It's still pretty sore, but the cut doesn't sting at all anymore."

I pick her up by the waist, chuckling at her squeal of surprise and place her on the counter-top.

"I'll go grab the first aid kit."

I keep all the medical supplies in the bathroom connected to my room. I don't know why. There have been very few times when I've actually needed first aid. I guess it's just a habit from being in Nazi Germany. We were taught to keep the necessary supplies on us at all times - no exceptions.

I return to the kitchen with the kit to find Rose smiling and Buck laughing. Someone else might be jealous to see this exchange, but not me. Buck is my brother in everything but blood, and there's not a single soul I trust more than him. And I thought I knew how charming Rose was, but I'm surprised that she's really making Bucky laugh - one of his genuine, hysterical laughs that he had before Hydra got a hold of him. I could kiss her for that.

"So you two are getting along then?" I ask and Rose nods with a wide smile.

"You bet, pal." Buck replies, "I just might have to steal your girl from you once she get's back on both feet. I think I'll take her dancing because lord knows that's one thing you can't do."

Rose giggles and I throw a half-hearted dirty look at Bucky.

I pull up the leg of her sweatpants, just past her knee. The cut looks good - clean and drained. The rest of her knee is not so great; there is the beginning of some serious black and purple bruising, and it's swelling at a rapid rate. I'm thinking this is a serious sprain, and I'm hoping she hasn't torn a ligament or damaged the muscle. I work my thumbs around the joint as gently as I can, feeling rushes of fluid as I move along.

Rose makes no noise of complaint about my prodding, but she can't hold in a wince when I reach a particularly tender spot.

"I'm sorry honey. I think your knee's going to hurt like hell for a while ... I'm guessing you're not going to let me take you to the hospital to run some tests, so I'm going to put on a brace, use some ice, and elevate it for as long as possible. Sound okay?"

"Yes. Thank you, Captain." Rose giggles and I playfully pull on her ear.

I grab some antibacterial cream from the kit, and apply a thin layer over the cut, before dressing it lightly in gauze. I take a fresh ace bandage out of the package and wrap her knee. I'm so focused on my task I don't even notice Buck standing to my side, holding a large bag of ice.

"If you two will excuse me, I've got some homework to do." He says, and knowing that he's going to run the background check on Rose - I simply nod. "It was an absolute pleasure to meet you Rose. Once you figure out this guy isn't all that special, I'll be more than happy to take his place."

Rose laughs and holds out her hand, which Buck promptly kisses. I nudge him with my shoulder, and with a wink at me - he disappears back to the computer room.

"I like him," Rose says, and that makes me absurdly happy. "I can't even imagine what it was like for you to lose him, and then get him back again. I'm really happy you have him."

"Yeah," I reply. "It kind of felt like my life started making sense again when Buck came back. Pretty much all of his memory has returned now, but it was a long time coming. He told me that he remembers the big stuff crystal clear, but every now and then he'll still get flashes of the little things - like what the street looked like on the way to the post office. He told me they're like random pictures that just show up in his mind, and I'm still trying to help him piece it all together."

"He loves you Steve."

"Did he tell you that?"

"He didn't need to."

I look up at her and I see a glassy sheen coating her big brown eyes. _She's crying? _

"Rosie, are you okay?"

She nods her head with a genuine smile, and roughly wipes at her eyes with the backs of her hands.

"I'm fine I promise ... just ... overcome, I guess. I know how much it hurt when I lost my father, and I didn't have any one else - and it makes me really sad to picture you feeling that way."

"Oh honey," I breathe. "I think you've got just about the biggest heart in the world ... But you've been through your fair share as well. You know that even when it hurts like hell, you still find a way to keep going. That's what I did when I lost Buck - just kept pushing ... and now I have him back _and_ I have you. I'm the happiest guy alive. Don't worry about me, Rosie."

She leans forward to place her head on my chest, and we wrap our arms around each other. Me and her molded together feels perfect - like two puzzle pieces finally coming together.

"Da used to call me that. Rosie."

_Shit. _

"Sorry, I won't do it again if it upsets you."

She shakes her head.

"No," she shakes her head. "Keep saying it. It's really nice to hear again."

"You've got it, Rosie." I kiss the top of her head. "Are you hungry?"

"Starving."

"Me too," I reply. "Let me look through the fridge and see if we've got anything edible."

Buck and I basically live off of cold cuts and gatorade, so we rarely have any _real _food. I highly doubt that Rose wants a crappy sandwich for dinner, so I need to figure something out.

The only thing I can find that can actually be cooked is a pound of hamburger, an assortment of pasta noodles, and some tomato sauce.

"A creative twist on regular spaghetti, then." Rose announces and starts giving rapid fire instructions about pans, and stovetop settings.

...

Almost an hour later (a job Rose says should only have taken twenty minutes), we've got 'Alternative Spaghetti' which actually doesn't look too bad.

I help Rose off her coaching seat on the countertop, and carry her to one of the chairs around the small, rarely-used dining table.

"Do you have anything to drink?" She asks, digging into her plate.

I walk back to the fridge and take a look.

"We've got some ginger ale, coke ... some different kinds of sports drinks and ... some bottled water." I reply, "Buck and I can't feel the affects of alcohol, so we never have it. I can run by the liquor store down the street and get some wine or something if you want."

"No thanks, I've got a strict no alcohol policy. A ginger ale would be perfect though."

I grab a can for her, a bottle of water for myself, and sit back down.

"So you don't drink at all?"

She shakes her head vehemently, popping the top of the can and taking a sip.

"That's surprising for someone in college nowadays, right?" I ask and Rose shrugs her shoulders. I can see that this conversation is making her uncomfortable, but I have a feeling that this new bit of information might help me get a glimpse into one of the hidden parts of her personality. I want that connection with her - to know _why_ she does certain things and makes certain choices. "Is that a personal preference or did you have a ... bad experience or something?"

"A little bit of both." She says, but won't meet my eye. "I'm fine with other people drinking, but it's just not for me. I can't handle being out of control and that's always exactly what happens."

A shiver runs through her, and I immediately get an uneasy feeling in my gut. I'll drop the topic for now, but I hope I find out the cause of her reaction at some point.

"I'm wildly impressed Steve." Her beautiful smile is back and that makes me feel incredibly relieved. "You managed to make me dinner just fine, after all."

I snort.

"It doesn't count when you have to coach me through each step. Next time I'm going to do it on my own - start to finish ... You probably won't be impressed though with the food poisoning you're likely to get."

We laugh for several minutes. I don't have an idea in the world about what we're laughing at, but I'm pretty sure it's because we're both wiped.

I wolf down the rest of my meal and she does the same to hers. I see her eyelids start to droop as I take her plate to clear in the sink.

"You're exhausted, aren't you?" I observe and she replies with a massive yawn.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"Well," she yawns again. "Not all of us have your super human strength and rebound rate. Take pity on me sweet Captain, I'm just a humble human."

I laugh like a maniac. _She's so damn funny! _

I pick her up from her chair and carry her bridal style to my bedroom. _Jeez, got **bride** on the brain much, Rogers?_

Holding Rose in one hand, I use the other to turn down the blanket and sheets. They're my favorite red flannel set, so she should be nice and warm. I lay her down gently, and pull the covers up around her.

"Under normal circumstances I'd be really flustered about you laying me down in what I'm assuming is your bed." She says suddenly, burrowing deeper into the mattress. "But right now I can't find the energy to care."

I chuckle and lean down to kiss her forehead. Her hand suddenly comes up to cup the back of my neck, keeping me right where I'm happy to be.

"Thank you for everything, Steve." She mumbles, already half asleep. "I really hope you're still here when I wake up, and this isn't all a dream ... I'd really ... really miss you ... if you ... just ... dream."

Just like that, she's out like a light, leaving me with an unshakeable urge to wake her up - if only to reassure her that this is as real as it gets, that I'm not going anywhere, that I'd really miss her too.

But she looks so peaceful I let her sleep. I'm content to sit here on the edge of the bed watching her, because no matter how much I look at her - it isn't enough.

I don't know how much time actually passes, but when I look up from her face I see Buck standing in the doorway with a folder in hand. He motions for me to follow him into the living room, and I do after pulling the covers up around Rose and closing the bedroom door behind me.

"Is she okay?" Buck asks and I nod.

"She's just worn out I think ... So you found what you needed to?"

Buck nods and hands me the folder.

There is photo after photo of Rose: each picture showing a new angle of her.

Her eyes are closed as she sits on a park bench smiling toward the sky, the sun lighting up her beautiful features. In the next she's curled up in a chair at the public library, a pair of glasses sliding down her nose that's stuck in a book. Then she's sitting by herself in a lecture hall biting on a pen, looking extremely bored.

And then I come across something different. There's a photo of an older man with a friendly smile that's almost hidden in a massive beard, the curly hair on his face and head is dark black and lined with grey. His nose is the same shape as Rose's - only bigger, and he's got the same exact shape and dark brown color of Rose's eyes. This man is Rose's father.

I've never met him. I didn't know he existed until this morning, and this suddenly feels like a great loss. I study his photo with overwhelming sadness because I will never get to meet this man who shaped Rose into the person she is. I will never get to prove my worth to this man, and I will never get to thank him for single-handedly raising the woman I could be in love with.

I delicately flip through a few more photos before I reach the formal report.

* * *

**Rose Margaret MacLeod**

**DOB: **December 18th, 1991 - Hardy County, West Virginia.

**Address: **2100 N Pierce St, Arlington, VA, 22209. Apartment 8C.

**Mobile Number: **571 - 362 - 1443

**Banking Details: **Chase Commercial Bank. Account Number : 443286. Current Balance : $322.14

**Occupation: **Graduate Student - Georgetown Law/History Minor. GPA : 3.27

**Prior Education: **No official records found (probable cause to assume homeschooling).

**Father: **Simon William Rupert MacLeod

**DOB: **March 18th, 1965 (Inverness, Scotland), Deceased January 2, 2010.

**Mother: **Catherine Dorothea (Bishop) MacLeod

**DOB: **July 3rd, 1972 (Baton Rouge, Louisiana), Deceased December 18th, 1991.

**m. **Simon MacLeod

\- June 22, 1990.

**Political Affiliations: **None Found

**Religious Affiliations: **Catholic

**Sexual Orientation: **Straight

**Relationship Status: **None Found

* * *

"So she's clean?" I ask and Bucky nods - his mouth set in a grim line. "If she's clean what's that look for? Did you find something in her apartment?"

Buck shakes his head and drops his shoulders.

"She's clean. Her apartment is clean - she's perfect." He says, but it comes out in a tone resembling bitter. "It's not like I was suspicious of her or anything, but when I started - I dug pretty thoroughly and only came up with the basics. That folder was really all I could come up with because there wasn't anything there on the surface. Rose rarely travels further than the library downtown, and I don't think she has many friends - if any at all. I went to her apartment and the only personal touches I could find were pictures of her family, and enough books to make you wonder how the hell she has time to read all of 'em. I think this girl lives a really damn lonely life Steve."

I probably could have put all of that together on my own, but hearing it makes me feel undeniably devastated. It _kills_ me to think that Rose spends all of her time alone, and not necessarily by choice, but because she doesn't have anyone.

"Okay she's not a spy or a plant - so what's your problem Buck?"

"The last thing I checked on was her criminal record. As I figured it came up clean, but her name set off a red flag in the database. I looked a little further and found out that the flag went up because there was a sealed file. The seal was arranged by the state, so it was essentially a joke and I broke through it pretty easily. My problem is what the seal was hiding."

He reaches into his pocket, pulls out a flash drive, and tosses it to me.

"The file was from a criminal case in which Rose was the victim." Buck drops his head again and almost looks close to tears. "A little over five years ago, Rose was sexually assaulted at some frat party ... The date was a couple months after her father's death, and the case details read that while Rose was drunk, one of the older fraternity brothers - Thomas Distler pulled her away from the party and raped her. Someone found Rose the next morning and took her to the hospital where they performed a rape kit. The kit tested negative because the necessary evidence needed to test positive, disappears only a couple of hours after the rape is committed. Her doctor testified that there were definite signs of sexual trauma, but because the kit was negative - Distler walked ... The bastard raped a defenseless girl and got off on a technicality."

It feels like someone lit a fire in my chest, and its spreading throughout my body. I want to hurt him, I want to cause damage and see him in pain. I want to hunt him down and kill him for daring to hurt Rose. I want to kill his goddamn lawyer for defending a rapist. I want to kill whoever ruled that, that disgusting piece of rot was innocent!

_It happened just a few months after her father died. She must have been completely beside herself. She can't even talk about it now for Christ's sake! She probably only went to that party to get drunk and try to ignore her grief ... Oh God ... She doesn't drink -** THAT** is why she doesn't drink ... She said she can't handle being out of control and that's because the last time she was out of control, some fucker took advantage of her helplessness and raped her!_

"Why was the case sealed Buck? Who petitioned for it?"

"Distler's father - Patrick Distler petitioned for it." Buck grimaces with disgust. "He filed on the grounds that a rape accusation on his son's criminal record could pose a 'serious threat' to his future."

"But both parties have to formally agree in order to seal a case file, right?"

Buck nods. "Rose signed off on it without comment ... Steve, I'm guessing that the seal means just as much to her as it does to Distler - just for different reasons."

"Where is Distler now?" I choke out. "Is he still around this area? What does he do?"

"Three years ago, he opened his law firm. Apparently he's one of the best defense attorney's on the east coast."

"Of-fucking-course he is."

"There's more Steve, hang on." Buck jogs back to his bedroom and returns with another folder. "Distler has personally defended and got off several members of Hydra after the immediate arrests were made. None of the names are familiar to me, but all of them were S.H.I.E.L.D. officers, so I think it's safe to assume they were pretty important to Hydra as well. The names I found right away were - Jason Denning, Brian Sexton, Vincent Hobbes, and Geoffrey Windsor. I wouldn't be surprised if there's more, though."

"If he defended them he's either Hydra as well or sympathetic toward the cause. You ran a check on him too, right?"

"Of course ... I thought the same thing when I saw the reports, but there's nothing there to indicate Hydra involvement. I think he just genuinely doesn't have an issue with defending scumbags - especially scumbags with heavy wallets. Steve this guy is a monster, but he's smart. He covers his tracks better than a lot of the people I've seen, and he's always got an escape route. He should be serving life in prison for all of the crimes he's committed, but there's no way he'll ever see the inside of a jail cell - he's made sure of that."

"Maybe he won't see jail time, but he will see justice. I'm going to give it to him."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: 

I walk back to the bedroom quietly, and there I find Rose still peacefully asleep.

She sleeps wild - her body at an awkward angle, limbs going in every direction. Her hair is completely covering her face, and a few curls fly upward every time she puffs out a breath. She's so beautiful it almost hurts to look at her.

Then it _actually _hurts when I think about what happened to her.

I sit on the bed next to her, and she immediately turns toward me and rests her hand on my leg.

"I'm going to take care of you." I whisper as I stroke the curls away from her face. "I'll keep you safe, and do my best to make you happy - if you'll let me."

I don't care that she's asleep and doesn't hear me. My promises always carry the same weight.

Rose shifts again and I'm able to fully appreciate her figure.

She's fairly short, but she is ALL curves. Her breasts are round and full, and as she sleeps they're almost pushed up to her chin. Her nipples are hard and mouthwatering as they strain against _my _t-shirt she's wearing. And that t-shirt (my new all time favorite) has ridden up to her narrow waist, revealing a tiny mole next to her bellybutton as well as a couple of faded stretch marks. Her hips are wide set and they curve into a behind that is gloriously round and a pair of deliciously thick thighs.

She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life, perfect - inside and out.

Rose leans further into my touch until she has her head in my lap and her arms around my torso. I lean down and kiss her head, over and over again. Touching her helps to calm me down, but it doesn't stop the thoughts that run through my head.

I'm going after Distler - that's definite, but I don't know what I'll do when I find him. Will I kill him? Will I make it a quick death or draw it out? Do I tell Rose that I know what happened to her? Do I tell her what I'm going to do?

My grip tightens around her as my unease roots deeper inside me.

"Steve," Rose mumbles against my thigh.

My breath catches.

"I'm here, honey."

Rose's eyes flutter open, and she smiles sleepily.

"Will you lay down with me?"

I nod and maneuver my way under the covers. My bed has never felt so warm and comfortable - not ever. As Rose drapes herself around me like a blanket, I realize that this is exactly what I want, what I've always wanted - a bed shared with a truly good woman. I only want this with her, though. Only with Rose.

She's asleep again after a few heartbeats and I feel myself following her quickly. This is a huge shock because I can never fall asleep easily. I toss and turn for hours on end until I'm eventually too exhausted to keep my eyes open.

...

I thought it would be the best sleep of my life, but I have never been so wrong.

I dream of Rose and Distler. I dream of her fighting, trapped beneath him, screaming for me - but I can't get to her. There are chains holding me back - keeping me helpless to do anything but watch.

I wake in a cold sweat, shaking, and gasping for breath.

Rose is still asleep, basically on top me - completely unaware. I look at the alarm clock on the bedside table and see that it's now 7:24 A.M..

_Holy hell! We've slept for more than 12 hours! I can never sleep all the way through the night. _

I slowly untangle my body from Rose's, get out of bed, and walk to the kitchen. There is a note lying on the counter.

**Distler Defense and Consulting**

**633 Pike Street, Arlington, VA. **

**Meet you there at 8.**

**-B**

Bucky's found him and at 8, he'll be in the background - there to help me clean up the mess if I kill Distler, or to guide my next steps if I allow him to live.

I move around the apartment quietly, preparing. I toy with the idea of wearing my uniform to intimidate him, but if I do kill him - I don't want to draw any unnecessary attention while doing it.

I choose a plain tee-shirt, leather jacket, blue jeans, and my black boots. I bring my shield, because it is as much a part of me as my arm.

When I'm ready, I walk back to the bedroom and gently shake Rose awake. She opens her eyes slowly, groaning with displeasure. She's definitely not a morning person.

"Sorry for getting you up so early," I say quietly, rubbing her back. "I've got an errand to run with Buck, and I didn't want you to wake up and be afraid to find me gone. It shouldn't take too long, but you'll get to sleep in. I'll be back in a little while."

I move to get up, but Rose grabs my hand suddenly and pulls me back down.

"Are you okay?" She mumbles, squinting at the light coming in from the hallway.

"Yeah honey, I'm fine."

"You seem a little ... off." Rose looks like she's studying me and that makes me nervous as hell. I'll tell her that I know what happened, of course, but only after I'm done with Distler. And I'm scared to death that if I ambush Rose with all of this, it will scare her and she'll run. I can't lose her. "Are _we_ okay?"

I pull my hand from hers to stroke the hair away from her face and behind her ear, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"We're solid, Rose, I promise. I'm just a little distracted this morning ... Go back to sleep. When I get back, I'll treat you to some seriously good breakfast."

Rose chuckles and turns over, pulling the covers up to her chin.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Mr. Rogers."

I laugh on my way out the door, making sure to lock all the bolts behind me. I don't think there's any threat to Rose here, but from now on - I am going to take every precaution with her.

I jog down to the garage of the building and jump on my bike. I'm really not a materialistic guy, but I'm pretty damn proud of my bike. It's restored (just like me, I guess) and I've tuned it to perfection. It glides through the streets faster and easier than you could hope to do in any sports car.

I'm outside of Distler's place in a matter of minutes. His office is huge - almost a skyscraper, and ostentatious with his name plastered on every available space.

_Narcissist. Rapist. _

The anger that's been growing inside me since last night, comes to a head as I walk through the revolving glass doors.

The receptionists behind the huge, marble desk look like supermodels - the kind of women Howard Stark used to date. I imagine Distler specifically sought that trait out when he was hiring ... I wonder if he's forced himself on them as well.

"Good morning, sir!" Supermodel #1 greets with a megawatt smile. "What can I help you with?"

"I'm here to see Distler."

#1 raises her eyebrows several inches.

"I-I'm sorry, sir," she frantically clicks at her computer, as Supermodel #2 flips through the appointment book in front of her. "I think we've had a scheduling error. Mr. Distler doesn't have any appointments today, and I'm afraid he doesn't see anyone without an appointment scheduled far in advance. If you'd like to set something up, I'd be happy to take down your information now and-"

"I'm Captain Steven Rogers. I don't have an appointment, but if _Mr. Distler _knows what's best for him - he'll see me."

Both Supermodels audibly gulp.

"I see, Mr. Rogers." #1 stammers, "I'll call Mr. Distler now, and inform him of the situation."

I nod as she hesitantly picks up the phone. She's definitely nervous, but I don't think that's entirely because of me. I'm sure that Distler is the type of man that doesn't tolerate surprises, and I'll bet these girls have been warned to ensure there aren't any.

I really don't pay attention to what she's saying, but after a few moments of anxious explanation, #1 hangs up the phone and nods at #2. Then #2 rises with a smile and leads me into an elevator. She tries to make polite conversation on the ride to the top floor, but I can barely hear her through the ringing in my ears. As the doors open, #2 directs me to Distler's office and I take off in a march.

I push open the large door without bothering to knock. Distler looks up from his laptop with unmasked surprise.

He's sitting down, but I can tell he's big. I'd say he's around 6'3, at least 240 pounds - and he's good looking. He's got tan skin, black hair cut short, and perfect teeth that are disturbingly white. As I'm looking at him, I can see the evil seeping through his exterior.

This is the kind of guy that easily, naturally intimidates people and he definitely uses that to his advantage.

_You've got another thing coming if you think you're going to intimidate me, you sick fuck._

I move forward until I'm standing right in front of his desk. He rises from his seat and holds a hand out to me - he has some of the biggest hands I've ever seen.

_He held Rose down with those hands - tore at her clothes, probably held one over her mouth to muffle her cries. He hurt my girl and he's going to pay for it. _

Distler gives me a confused look, and drops his hand when I don't reach for it.

"It's an honor to meet you, Captain. I'm Thomas Distler," he says, motioning for me to sit down. "I'm incredibly star struck, but even more confused as to this surprise visit. What can I do for you?"

"You can tell the truth for the first time in your miserable life." I say, leaning forward and he cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes. "And then I'll decide what to do with you."

"Excuse me?"

I look around the office - taking stock. Three of the walls are thick concrete, but the wall behind his desk is a huge glass window. The double doors have deadbolt locks and they are the only entry and exit point.

"Your office is very secure." I observe, "I'm sure you have the rest of the building bugged, but is this room wired as well?"

A wide smile spreads across his face and a deep laugh bubbles out of his throat.

"No it is not." He leans back in his chair, and crosses his arms over his chest. "We can speak as candidly as you wish. Are you here in regards to the S.H.I.E.L.D. officers I defended?"

"Hydra officers, you mean," I correct him. "But no, that's not why I'm here. You and I both know you're not going to prison, but I will hear you confess to what you've done."

"What I've done?"

"To Rose MacLeod." I grip the edge of his desk, and I hear the wood splintering under my hands. "If you ask who she is, I'm going to throw you from that window right now."

"Ah," Distler nods slowly and when he looks at me, I see a dark glint in his eyes. "What I did to Rose MacLeod. Tell me something - are you asking about my college indiscretions out of a sense of patriotic duty, or is it more personal than that? What exactly is your interest?"

"Rose is mine now, and I want to hear the truth about what you did to her."

He throws his head back and laughs loudly with an incredulous look.

"I'll be damned! Rose is dating _Captain America?_ ... I guess Rosie's really climbing the ladder now, isn't she?"

_DON'T FUCKING CALL HER THAT! _

I slowly breathe out through my nose - desperately trying to keep calm. I have to hear him confess.

"There isn't a single thing I wouldn't do to eliminate a threat to Rose. Not. One. Thing. You've hurt her once, but you will NEVER do so again."

"I hurt her, did I? Is that what Rose told you?"

"You're going to deny that you pulled her away from a party while she was drunk and raped her?"

"No, I won't deny it. Though I do think _rape_ is a pretty harsh term for what happened." Distler leans back again and heaves a deep sigh. "You want the story, Captain? Here it is - from my sophomore year at Georgetown until commencement, I was president of the Alpha Kappa Psi fraternity. Jesus, we had so many parties they all blurred together after a while. But I remember the party Rose came to explicitly ... I had seen her around campus a handful of times. She was such a shy little thing - never speaking to anyone, but she's not the kind of girl you forget. She's quite beautiful, isn't she? ... Anyway, I was surely interested in her, but not enough to pursue it. If you haven't figured it out yet Rogers, I'm not the kind of man who has to pursue women. _They_ come to _me_. They always have, with the exception of Rose.

"The night of the party, she showed up alone - already half wasted and looking for more. She downed cup after cup, didn't even care what was handed to her. She was plastered after thirty minutes and after an hour - I'd never seen anyone that drunk and still conscious ... I'm sorry for the bluntness of this, but it is what it is. Girls who go to frat parties and get that drunk, _want _to get fucked. They're begging for it ... To be honest, I knew Rose was a prude and would make a fuss in the morning. That's why I took her out to the back gardens instead of my room. When I kissed her, she cried. Good lord, all she did was cry, but she didn't push me away ... It wasn't until I got her down on the ground that she started to fight.

"Call me a sick bastard if you want, but being pushed away only made me want it more ... Fuck, she fought like hell. She bit and scratched and pushed and kicked with everything she had. She gave me this scar with one of her fingernails." He points to a subtle scar, scaling the length of his eyebrow and down his temple. "She didn't last until the end though. She quit fighting it after a while, and then she passed out right before I finished. I didn't realize I was her first, until I pulled out and saw the blood. Honestly, that made it even sweeter - knowing I was the first man to be inside her, the first to have my eyes roll back in my head from how tight she was ... In the eyes of the law, yes, I did rape her. I know that, but I also know that as much as Rose loves to have a sob story - she wanted it.

"Captain, I have never claimed to be a good man - I'm not - but for all the wrong I've done, I've never lied. If my lawyer had allowed me to testify when Rose pressed charges, I would have gladly told the judge the same account I just told you ... It's for the best that he didn't allow me to do so, because I'm not a man who would bear prison well ... I hold no ill will toward Rose MacLeod - I wish her every happiness. I hope that puts your mind at ease ... And now, judging from the look in your eye, I imagine you're deciding the best way to kill me. I know you're a hero Captain Rogers, _everyone_ knows that. I know you feel like you have to kill me in order to put the world's scales of justice back in balance, but you're wrong. I have no intention of ever seeing or approaching Rose again, and she surely is taking measures not to see me ... It really astounds me that she's toiled so hard for a law degree, but she has no intention to practice because of the small chance she might run into me in a courtroom.

"You need to understand that I'm a powerful man Captain - significantly less famous than you, but just as powerful. So if you throw me from my window or strangle me or bludgeon me to death with your shield - there will be consequences. The name Captain America will mean _nothing_, and neither your good deeds nor the Avengers will be able to protect you. If you kill me, the best case scenario is you getting life in prison - forever tarnishing your honorable reputation; the worst case is you being killed. Either option separates you from Rose. And with you out of her life, she'll be all alone again. I know for a fact that, that isn't what you want ... Now you have all the facts and possible outcomes, Rogers. Hopefully they will lead you to a wise decision."

I unstrap my shield holster from my back, and as the metal hits the ground - I launch myself at him.

It's like everything is moving in slow motion and fast forward at once. I hit him over and over, ignoring the fact that there's blood everywhere and my arm is numb and his face is unrecognizable. I keep hitting him.

_Girls like that - they want to get fucked. They're begging for it ... I knew she'd make a fuss in the morning ... She quit fighting after awhile ... She didn't last until the end ... I didn't realize I was her first until I pulled out and saw the blood ... She wanted it ... She wanted it ... She wanted it ... She wanted it ... He hurt Rose. He raped her. He has to die._

I can't feel my arm at all now - it's like it's not even connected to my body anymore. The rage is still burning. Now matter how many bits of bone I see flying, the anger isn't fading.

"Steve! Steve, enough!" Buck's voice sounds from above me, like he's on the surface and I'm underwater. "Steve! He's gone! ENOUGH! It's done! Stop! STOP!"

Something like a sledgehammer hits me in the side, and I go flying to the other end of the office. The force of the blow sent me almost all the way through the drywall.

Buck is in front of me, crouched low with his arms outstretched - the way one would approach a wild animal. Maybe that's what I am now - an animal. I don't care. Distler deserves worse.

_She wanted it ... She wanted it ..._

I get to my feet and Buck braces his body.

"Listen to me, Steve." He says it in a calm voice, trying to talk me down. "Distler is dead, you killed him. You got him to confess, and now he's dead. He won't hurt her again. I cleared the servers and terrified the girls out front - you and I were never here. I'll take care of the body and clean up. Go home, Steve ... Go home to Rose. Go."

"He hurt Rose. He hurt her." I have to make Buck understand what the vermin has done. I have to make him understand.

"I know, I heard." Buck nods, walking me toward the door. "I was on the roof of the building across the street, I heard everything. I came when you tackled him. I've got this, Steve. I disabled the cameras on this floor - go out the fire escape. Go home. I'll meet you there later."

Buck gives me a final shove and closes the door in my face.

I'm in a daze as I walk toward the exit. I've never lost control like this - not with the Nazis, Hydra, Loki's army, S.H.I.E.L.D. - not once. Right now, I'm sure I don't even _look _like the Steve Rogers I was yesterday.

I need to see Rose. I need to get back to her and tell her what happened. I have to tell her I killed Distler, because I know Rose won't tolerate dishonesty or me hiding things from her, and I can't bear the thought of losing her. She'll be able to help me understand all of this.

I pick up the pace to a sprint and am almost to the apartment when I remember I promised her breakfast.

She needs food and I can't turn up empty handed, so I change my course to the local diner Buck and I always frequent for breakfast.

_Lucy's Homemade_

The subtle sign is an apt representation of the traditional and classic restaurant inside. Buck and I love it here so much because it reminds us of our time; the main customers are the old timers, the food is great and not too fancy, the atmosphere is relaxed and happy. Lucy - the owner - is well into her seventies, but still incredibly active. She's always fluttering around the place, laughing with customers, and singing along to the radio. She's always sending extra food home with Buck and I because she knows we can't cook, and she worries about us 'going hungry'. It's kind of like having a mother again.

The bell chimes as I walk through the door, and Lucy pokes her head out the kitchen - long, white hair pulled back in a braid.

"Hi, Steve!" She smiles and starts loading plates onto her tray to deliver to the tables. "I was wondering when you'd show up. Bucky couldn't make it this morning?"

"Hey, Luce." I quickly shove my hands in my pockets, suddenly aware of the broken skin and dripping blood. The smile I'm faking feels foreign on my face, but I've got to keep up appearances. "Buck had some um ... work to do this morning. Can I ask a huge favor?"

"Name it, sugar."

"I've got a friend at home who needs some of your famous breakfast."

"A _lady _friend?" Lucy cocks and eyebrow at me with a grin.

"Yes, mom. It's a lady friend and I promised I'd come home with food. Can you help me out?"

Lucy chuckles and runs back to the kitchen. I grab a seat on a stool at the bar and take a deep breath. Two old guys are sitting in the corner, arguing about chess strategy, and I intently listen to their conversation - doing anything to keep my dark thoughts from taking root in my mind.

After a few minutes and many heated words about the best position for a rook, Lucy returns from the kitchen sporting two large bags filled with to-go boxes.

"Wow, Luce." I whistle, "I thought I told you it was a girl, not an entire army!"

"Listen here, Rogers. You can never be too prepared when it comes to a lady, especially a lady you're trying to impress."

I nod and reach for my wallet.

"No, no." Lucy shoves the bags toward me. "We'll settle up at the end of the week - same as we always do. Now go on back to your girl. And Steve - get some rest. You look real worn, handsome."

I lean over the bar to give her a kiss on the cheek before grabbing the bags and walking out. I keep my pace to a jog because I don't know what Lucy made and I don't want to spill or ruin any of it.

I'm back at the apartment after about ten minutes, and I feel a sudden plight of nerves as I walk through the door. Rose is sitting on the ground in the living room, surrounded by books - some hers, some mine. Her light hair is piled messily on top of her head, and she's wearing a pair of large tortoise framed glasses that keep sliding down her nose.

_Stunning. _

I stand in the doorway for a minute, just drinking her in. She reads the way a starving man eats; quickly scanning the pages with a joyous look on her face, and then she'll set one book down and grab another. I've never seen someone so perfectly content.

I suddenly become aware that I'm staring at her like a damn stalker, and she must be starving. I shake my head and close the door.

Rose's head snaps up and she looks over her shoulder at me, smiling brilliantly.

"Morning, gorgeous." I wink at her as I set the bags down on the counter.

"Good morning." She replies, a scarlet blush working its way up her throat. "Sorry about the mess. I get pretty manic when I read."

"Don't apologize! I love seeing you here, completely in your zone. What time did you get up?"

"Oh, I guess about an hour or so ago." She's trying to stand which isn't easy considering the mountain of books around her and her injured leg. I immediately move across the room and pick her up, carrying her to the table. "Thanks. I laid in bed for a while, too comfy to move, but then I really wanted to read. I limped my way in here to grab my books, but my leg buckled on the way back to the bedroom. I've been chilling here since then."

_WHAT? She's been stranded on the floor for an hour?_

"Are you okay? You could've been seriously hurt, Rosie! Are you in pain?"

"I'm fine, Steve, I promise." She says, "I kind of forgot about it, so I wasn't really paying attention. It hurts a little, but I think that's pretty normal."

I grab the Tylenol from the cabinet above the sink and hand her three with a glass of water.

"It's anti-inflammatory so it should help the swelling as well." Rose downs the pills quickly and looks toward the boxes. "I stopped by my favorite food joint to pick up some breakfast. I know the owner pretty well, and she makes the best breakfast. I hope you're hungry."

"_Starving_."

I grab all of the boxes and the silverware and bring them back to the table. The first box I flip open is biscuits and sausage gravy, with sides of bacon and fresh fruit. Rose squeals and licks her lips and I can tell that this is one of her favorites.

I set the box and a fork in front of her and she digs right in.

"You're a biscuits and gravy fan?" I ask curiously. I want to know every little thing about her.

"I love it," she moans as she takes another bite. "I ate it all the time growing up. Da could never make pancakes, but biscuits and gravy were his specialty."

I open the next box and find Lucy's famous scrambled eggs and sausage links. _Perfect. _

I feel Rose's eyes on me, and it's making me incredibly nervous. She's so smart, and I know that she can see that something's wrong.

_I just need to spit it out. I don't want to start this - whatever this is - with lies. I've invaded her privacy and went behind her back, and I can only hope she'll be able to understand that I did it for her. I hope she forgives me. Oh God, what if she can't? What if she walks away? _

"Steve, can you please tell me what's going on?" Rose fidgets in her chair, looking close to tears. "Did I do something?"

With a huge, shaky sigh, I lay my bloody hands on the table in front of her. Her eyes become twice as big and her mouth drops open with a shocked sound.

_Huh, I guess they do look pretty bad. _

"Oh. My. God. Steve!" Rose shrieks as she leans forward to get a better look, touching gently. "What happened? What did you _do_?"

_Now or never, Rogers._

"I know about Thomas Distler." I say and every ounce of color drops from Rose's face. Her entire body starts to tremble and her shaking is rattling _me_ to my bones. "I don't want to start this ... relationship, I guess ... with lies. So the truth is - there are very few people in my life that I can trust. I've been betrayed and lied to, so many times it doesn't even faze me anymore. I never doubted you for a minute Rose, so please don't think that ... But Bucky reminded me that there have been many people planted in my life by my allies _and_ my enemies. I gave Buck the go-ahead to do a background check on you - just because it would ease his mind. Everything he found on you was clean and perfect, as I knew it would be, but then he found that sealed file ... He told me what Distler did to you, and I couldn't bear it. I am so truly sorry, Rose. I know I invaded your privacy and hid things from you, and I'm sure you would've told me in your own time, but I was just so angry."

Rose has stream after stream of tears running from her eyes, but otherwise her face is completely blank. I can't tell what she's thinking or feeling, and it's driving me insane. I'll do whatever I have to do to fix this - anything. Rose sniffs quietly and gives me a 'go on' motion.

"This morning, I went to Distler's office." Rose's eyes snap between my injured hands and my face and back again, blinking. "I confronted him about what happened, and he told me what he did. What he said ... Rose, I don't have to tell you that the man is a monster ... I think I knew I was going to kill him when I went there, but I've never lost control that way before, I swear to God. I don't want you to think of me as just some mindless killer - I'm not, but I couldn't let him live Rose. I just-"

"You killed him?" Rose interrupts, narrowing her eyes at me. "You killed Distler?"

Slowly, I nod and hold up my hands to show her what I killed him with.

"Aren't you going to get in trouble? You'll go to prison, Steve! ... You don't understand. Distler is best friends with some very, _very _powerful people. He spends all of his time with congressmen and top ranking officials, and he pays off everyone else! Now that you've killed him, they'll come after you, and being arrested will be the least of your worries."

I shake my hand and her eyebrows scrunch together in confusion.

"I covered my tracks well, honey." I place one of my hands on top of hers, and to my delight - she doesn't pull away - but she doesn't return my actions, either. "I've never been very good at sneaking around or staying under the radar, but Bucky is an expert. He's taking care of everything now. Nothing is going to happen to either of us, Rose. I promise you - please, trust me.

"Why should I?" She snaps.

_God, this is it. She doesn't want anything to do with me now. I've broken her trust, and to her, honesty means everything. Please, PLEASE don't let it be over!_

"I deserve that," I pull my hand away. "I lied to you, but you have to understand that it was just a lie of omission. Rose, what I did to Distler-"

"I don't give a fuck about Distler, Steve!" She shouts and I jump at the severity of it. "I'm happy he's dead ... but you have _no _right to act like you understand all of it. You have NO IDEA what it's like to be taken advantage of like that - to have someone hold you down and use you in the most intimate of ways like you're just an object ... I was so stupid, Steve ... I went to that party because I wanted to get drunk, I wanted to drink until I could forget about the guilt and all the pain and that came along with losing my father. I could have went and gotten booze and came back to my apartment, but I couldn't stomach all the silence ... I'd been thinking about killing myself for a while. I wanted to die, I really did, and I would just sit in my room and think about all the ways I would end it.

"I decided the best way was just to drink until I got alcohol poisoning and then keep drinking. I never thought that someone would use that to their advantage ... I don't remember getting pulled away from the party. My memory starts when he pushed me to the ground and climbed on top of me ... I'd never had sex before, and if there's any silver lining it's that the booze numbed some of the pain ... I passed out and when I woke up, I was in the hospital with a stomach pump, surrounded by police ... the person who found me and took me to the hospital was one Distler's fraternity brothers - Sam O'Callaghan.

"I'd never met Sam before, never even seen him before; but he stayed with me the whole time, just holding my hand to show me I wasn't alone. He didn't owe me anything, and he certainly had no obligation to take care of me, but he did. I've never been so grateful for anyone in my entire life ... I knew I had been raped, I felt it, but I couldn't give the police a name. In my mind, the guy who hurt me was just a big, dark figure and I guess that was another side effect of the alcohol ... Sam was the one who told the police it was Distler - he'd heard him come back inside to the party, boasting about how he got little Rose MacLeod into bed, and how much of a wildcat I was. I scratched his face so deep it left a scar, and Sam was the only one smart enough to realize that something was wrong.

"My doctors performed all the tests and the police asked me if I wanted to press charges - I said yes. They arrested Distler at the frat house, and his daddy had him out on bail within hours ... I was in the hospital for a week and a half, and Sam spent every day with me. He became my best friend, and he told he that he would do whatever he could to help me ... My case didn't go to court for six months, and in that time, Distler made Sam's life a living hell. He'd found out that Sam was the one who identified him as the rapist, and he tormented him for it. Sam lived at the frat house, and Distler set up cameras all over his room. Sam was gay and Distler had hours of recordings of him with his boyfriend - some of it innocent, and some extremely private.

"Distler told Sam he'd send the videos to Sam's father and release them on every public outlook he could - if Sam didn't go to the police and rescind his statement. Sam's father was in the military, a real hard-ass, with zero tolerance for homosexuality. Sam would've been disowned and publicly humiliated - his life would've been over ... When he told me what was happening, I begged him to just go along with Distler's demands. I told him I'd figure out a way to make sure Distler was punished on my own, and that I couldn't bear to see such a wonderful guy torn apart because of me, but Sam was too loyal for his own good. He told me he wouldn't betray me like that, and he wouldn't lie for Distler regardless of the consequences ... Distler released the tapes, and the outcome was so bad, Sam killed himself two weeks later.

"I was so devastated and so _guilty. _My father died because I wasn't there, and my best friend died because he was trying to help me ... Sam left me a note and told me that he loved me and he didn't regret his choice, but he couldn't bear the way people would whisper and laugh as he would walk to class, and the way his father looked at him as though he were a parasite ... God, Steve. He was the sweetest and most kind person I have ever met. He'd never hurt a fly, and Distler and all of his ugliness just squeezed every ounce of life and happiness from him ... When we finally went to court, Distler's father spared no expense in getting him the best defense attorney in the country.

"They said that I went to party, got drunk and sought Distler out. They essentially called me a dirty whore who begged for it, and then cried rape to try and get a settlement from Distler's family money and attention from the media. That courtroom was a nightmare ... You know how it resulted - I was just happy it was over. When Patrick Distler started making a stramish about sealing the files, I was just fine with it ... Steve, I don't care about Distler or what you did to him. I've tried to move on from what happened, and I've done as best I can.

"I haven't been with anyone since Distler raped me, and I haven't even come close to dating. I have a hard time letting my guard down and trusting people not to take advantage of me. I know you would never push me into something that made me uncomfortable or hurt me intentionally - I know that ... But Steve, I am absolutely crazy about you. You're probably going to think that I'm one of those psycho girls who gets too attached too fast, but I think I might be falling in love with you ... I want to see how this thing will work out between us, but to do that - I have to be able to trust you. I don't mind that you ran a background check on me, I'm really not that interesting of a person, but it hurts me that you didn't ask me about Distler or told me what you were going to do before you left. From now on - you've got to talk to me and let me in, and I'll try to do the same."

_Holy Shit! She loves me and she wants to try ... And I want to kill Distler all over again. _

"Thank you so much for giving me another chance, Rose." I say as I lift her from her chair to sit on my lap. "I'm sorry for lying to you, and I'm sorry for what happened to you and what happened to your friend. You need to know - I'm not going to let anything happen to you. From now on, it's you and me and you've got the protection of everything that comes along with me. I'll take care of you."

Rose leans in and then her lips are on mine. The tears left on her cheeks transfer onto mine as she strains to get closer and closer. She's holding onto me with a death-grip as if she's desperate, and I know I sure as hell am by the way I'm pushing against her.

God, she's writhing on my lap and rocking back and forth and I really can't take it for too much longer. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I set my hands on her shoulders and push her away.

"What?" She pants, her brown eyes glazed over and cheeks flushed bright red. "What's wrong?"

"I'm a man, honey." I look down at my lap and she follows my gaze, her eyes widen and her cheeks turn a shade of deeper red. "We need to slow down or I'm likely to burst into flame. I don't want to rush you into anything - especially not right now."

"No, Steve." Rose growls, her eyes suddenly focused and her mouth set in a thin line. "Don't go there - I'm not going to break because of what Distler did. He took me by force and crossed every boundary I had, but I know the difference between a man like him and a man like you. I know that you would never force me or push me, but Steve, this has to be my choice. Men have tried to get with me since I was raped, and I've said no to all of them - not out of fear, but because I didn't want them. _I want you_. I trust you enough to give you my body, because I know you won't hurt me. I know you're old fashioned Steve, but don't turn me away. You want me, I know it and I can _feel _it ... Please."


End file.
